


The beautiful laugh of a beautiful woman

by Raptarion



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (Probably not how you're thinking though), (Rose and Nepeta only show up near the end just so you know), Come Swallowing, Cunnilingus, F/M, Laughter During Sex, Missionary Position, Piratestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 16:09:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3816649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raptarion/pseuds/Raptarion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John gets lucky with the owner of a local tavern while he's in port.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The beautiful laugh of a beautiful woman

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SybLaTortue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SybLaTortue/gifts).



> This is for the Colab porn thing SybLaTortue posted on tumblr yesterday. They closed it already, but I wanted to finish this regardless. Takes place in their piratestuck AU.
> 
> Starts off as porn. Changes tone to a chase scene near the end. Hope you all enjoy.

The tavern was abuzz with the sound of conversations. Some hushed in corners, as if fearful the walls had ears. Some the loud boisterous cries of the drunk and merry. A number of his own crew were retelling the story of a sea monster they had faced down since they were last in port. It was mostly Kakat telling the story, making himself out to be a bigger deal in the whole affair than he actually was. Dave was taking every opertunity to interrupt his story and derail his epic speeches. It was amusing. Karkat getting angry was never not amusing.

But John wasn't focused on them. He was focused on who he was talking to. The tavern owner. Who had been taking numerous breaks to speak with him throughout the evening, leaving much of the grunt work to her other employees. He was really enjoying their conversation. He couldn't for the life of him remember what is was about though. He was far too distracted by everything else about her. The way she managed to drink as much as anyone else in the bar yet still stand up straight. The way her voice sounded. Airy and just a little bit squeaky. It should have been annoying, but it wasn't somehow. The way she stooped her head down to rest in her hand. And the way she never seemed to laugh the same way twice. Even though she laughed so much. Every little thing she did captivated him.

"My my. Quite the adventures you've had." She says, a slight slur to her words. "I especially like all the little... private, adventures you guys have." She says with a wink.  
"Heh. Yeah, we're all really close."  
"Hmm. I almost envy you guys. Out there with your adventures and plunders. But I like it here. Where you see new faces every day, and you never have to worry about running out of rum." She takes a swig from her bottle, as if to emphasize her point. "Plus, I have terrible sea legs."  
"You sure? It won't be long before we leave port. You could come with us."  
She shakes her head. "Naw sweetie. That's a nice offer. But 'The Emerald Muse' is my life. I'm not leaving her any time soon."  
"That's a shame. You would have made a great addition to the crew... maybe I could talk the others into shanghaiing you. Wrap you up in an adventure one way or the other." He says playfully.  
She laughs. Because of course she did. She laughed at just about anything. And he could never grow tired of that laughter. Her laugh would never not be beautiful.

"Aw I had a swell time talking to you tonight... think I'm going to go up to bed now."  
"Oh." John said, a bit down trodden. "Well it was great fun hanging out with you."  
She grins. "I said I was going up to bed. I didn't say we were done hanging out."  
John stares blankly at her for a moment, before realization washes over him. He stammers for a moment, his mouth outracing his brain in a hurry to respond. She interrupts him before he can gather his thought though.  
"Top floor. Last door on the left. It'll be open. Finish up your drink and meet me there, for a private adventure of our own." She says, standing up and sauntering away, bottle still clutched firmly in hand.

John stares after her as she navigates through the crowd of tavern goers with a practiced ease. She reaches the stairwell and climbs up to the rooms on the upper floors, disappearing from his sight. He jolts his head back to what was left of his drink as she disappears from sight completely. He wasn't expecting this. He had enjoyed her company but had not been particularly forward. And even if he had been trying to get into her pants he had never managed to bed someone after knowing them for a single afternoon. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts and courage. Honestly he wasn't even sure what he was nervous about. Why get performance anxiety like this? It's not like he ever got any complaints from Karkat, or Dave, or Rose. He had too much experience under his belt to be thinking he was going to fall short.

He downs the rest of his drink in one swig. Then coughs half of it back up when it goes down awkwardly. He was kind of glad the tavern owner wasn't around to see that.  
Finally he heads over to the stairwell, bumping shoulders with numerous rowdy patrons mingling. He passes close enough to hear Dave finishing up Karkat's story. Karkat had given up telling it and was sulking in his drink. Jade was laughing at Dave's retelling, and patting Karkat on the back. Probably to try and cheer him up.

Then he was up to the second floor, and the noise of the tavern below was muffled. He walks around to walk up the next flight of stairs, arriving on the third floor. The noise of the tavern was now like a distant dream. He walks slowly through the hall. The lamps weren't lit, so his walk was in darkness, save for the light pouring in through the window. Mostly starlight, but some lanterns from the building next door as well. He unconsciously makes his footfalls lighter as he closes in on the door. He's almost startles himself when he causes a floorboard to creak under his weight. Then he stands before the last door on the left. It was closed. He takes a deep breath, and reaches out to open the door. It only occurs to him when the door is swung half way open that he probably should have knocked. But it was too late to correct his mistake. He walks in.

The room seemed spacious at first. But that was because it was sparsely decorated, with mostly empty floor space. From just inside the doorway, he could see only a four poster bed, a nightstand with an unlit lantern, and a dresser. The bed was pushed up opposite him on the far wall. The dresser was on his left, against the corner. There was a window to his right, letting in more light. But he didn't see anyone else in the room. He takes a few steps in, confused. This is where she had told him to go. Where was she?

He was just starting to think this was some sort of prank when he heard the door close behind him. He turns to see the tavern owner, previously hidden by the door.  
"Nice of you to join me." She says. He notices that she had removed her jewelry and her belt. But was otherwise still fully dressed.

"It seemed like it would be rude to refuse the invitation." John says, trying his damnedest to be smooth.  
"And I'm irresistibly sexy."  
"...uh yeah. Just really, uh..." John says, failing to think of anything cool to say. She chuckles, and walks past him to the nightstand. She lights the lamp, bathing the room in warm light, and casting deep shadows with the bed, and wherever they stood.  
She turns, taking another swig from her bottle, before letting it down on the nightstand with a heavy thuk. He watches her face as the flickering light dances across it, leaving half her features in shadow.

"Well? Are you going to just stand there staring all night?" She asks.  
John snaps out of whatever daze he had fallen into, and rushes over to her. He hesitates when he reaches her though, feeling stupid for how eagerly he had gone to her. Luckily, she takes the initiative and yanks him into a kiss before the moment becomes too awkward. Her fist clenches around his hair, and he tastes the alcohol on her breath and tongue. She pulls on his back to bring his body closer, and he is all to happy to oblige. He feels her breasts pressing against his chest. He feels the curve of her waist with one hand while he clenches her hair in turn with the other. And if the strain against the crotch of his pants was any indication, she probably felt how exited he was.  
The kiss was rather messy. Much of it was the wrestling of tongues one would expect. But she was also fond of sucking and biting on the lips. Just enough to hurt. John hadn't really done anything like that before, but he wasn't complaining. He was a bit confused as to weather this was normal for her, or if she was only doing it because she was a little drunk.

He begins pulling off her clothing. He starts with the scarf, the material rubbing satisfyingly against his hands as he pulls the knot undone. Her vest takes a bit longer. She refuses to take a step back and let him undo the buttons down the front. So he struggles to keep up with her continued kissing and groping while unclasping the buttons one by one. It was a VERY good problem to have though. With the buttons undone, It would be easy for her to slip the garment off. Once she was willing to let her arms drop down from feeling seemingly every inch of his body for a few seconds that is. She had begun to reach her hands under his shirt while he had been occupying himself with the buttons. Her hands roam his chest and stomach while he moves on to her skirt.

Instead of removing it right away, he decides to reach underneath to feel her pussy. His hand worms its' way past the waistband of her skirt, and into her panties. His palm brushes against her pubic hair, before finally finding its' destination. And if her actions alone weren't indicative of her excitement, the wetness between her legs was. He rubs against her outer lips to her apparent satisfaction, as she shifts her hips to rub more strongly against his hand. She finally stops groping his chest, long enough to let her vest drop to the floor, and to remove her shirt. She lets the garments fall to her side, as she reveals the nakedness of her upper body. John looks at her with barely contained lust. She grins.  
"You like what you see John." She says, cupping one of her breasts.  
John nods. "Yeah. You're incredibly sexy... uh... shit." He says, suddenly realizing something.  
"What?" She asks.  
"I don't... I never caught your name."  
"He says with his hand in my smallcothes." She snarks.  
"Heh... sorry."  
"It's Roxy. Try not to forget."

She reaches out and grabs the hem of his shirt. She pulls up, and John is forced to take his hand away from between her legs. He lifts his arms to let her remove his shirt. But she stops before pulling it all the way off, leaving his vision obstructed and his arms held awkwardly over his head. She pulls away, leaving him to finish removing it. By the time he had finished she had managed to remove her skirt, and find her way onto the bed. She was crawling up to the head of the bed on all fours, giving him a great glimpse of her ass, before she rolled over onto her back, her limbs spread wide. She looks over to him and curls her index finger in the universal gesture for "Come here." John quickly tries to slip out of his pants tripping on them in his eagerness to get to her. He lands on the bed at Roxy's feet, who is giggling at his fall. He is too busy enjoying her laughter to be embarrassed though.

He starts to crawl up between her legs, kissing up along them as he progresses. He was going slow now. Taking his time. Savoring every inch of her skin. She starts to moan when he reaches her thighs. He can tell she's anticipating when he reaches the point where he legs meet. He decides to go slower, teasing her. She whines a bit, shifting in her anticipation. But he doesn't speed up in his journey to her sex. He just keeps going slowly, even though he was just as eager to reach his destination as she was. But though he was able and willing to spread out the journey, Roxy wasn't. Still several kisses away from her pussy, she grabs his head and yanks it forward, burying his face between her legs. She wraps them around his head just to make sure he didn't go anywhere. Not that he was all that eager to pull away. He reaches his tongue out to lick at her mound, eliciting satisfied moans from Roxy, as well as an exasperated "Finally."

He begins exploring Roxy's honeypot with his tongue, licking her outer folds at first, but quickly moving up to lick her clitoris, lest she get impatient for more stimulation again. He alternates between stimulating her clit, and licking around the rest of pussy, trying to find what she liked most by her reactions. He found that some of the best results came from probing inside her and curling his tongue upwards. She made this deep sound in the back of her throat that was easy to miss, and pushed all that much harder against his face. He was just about to wrap up the foreplay and move on, when he got an idea. Inspired by the way they were kissing earlier, he decides to take the lips of her labia into his mouth, and suck on them lightly. Then, he gently bit down. She gasps at this and tenses up a bit. He quickly lets go and looks up at her. She's smiling a bit, which he takes to mean she liked that. He shifts his head over to the other side of her mound and does the same thing there, sucking it in before closing his teeth around it gently. This time, he keeps up the pressure of his bite for a little longer. He feels her stiffen again, and her legs shudders just the slightest bit while he holds her in his teeth. Finally, he moves up to her nub. He goes extra slow, gently massaging it with his tongue, before sucking on it, trapping it between his lips. He looks up to make sure she knew what he was about to do, and that she was OK with it. She looks down at him with anticipation, and gives a nod. He gently bites her clit, and she seizes up again. She lets out a cute, high pitched squeal, just below her breath. He feels her shuddering, and watches her expression with no small amount of enjoyment. Her eyes shut as she focused on the feeling of her clit between his teeth. He slowly eases off of the love bite, but keeps the bud between his lips. He sucks on it as he pulls his head back, finally letting it go with a small pop.

He crawls up the panting body of the sexy tavern owner, until they were face to face.  
"That was nice, what you did there at the end." Roxy said.  
"It's not over yet." John replies, using one hand to rub the tip of his cock between her legs, lining up with her entrance.  
"Good. Because I still want more."

He slowly pushes in. There isn't much resistance, and more than enough lubrication. He slides in to the hilt with ease, and holds there for a moment. He enjoys the feeling of heat and wetness all around his member. He prepares to start moving.  
"Tell me if I need to change the pace or anything." He says.  
She seems to find that amusing, as she chuckles before saying "I'll be sure to do that."  
Which she does. After he starts thrusting, she almost immediately tells him to slow down. He obliges, taking on a slow, steady rhythm. He pulls all the way out before slowly pushing all the way back in again, which lets him get a feel for every inch of her insides. She sometimes tells him to shift the angle one way or another, before finally he found one she was satisfied with. "There. Keep hitting there." She says in a breathy voice. He does his best to do so with each slow thrust. He focuses on doing exactly as Roxy instructed, watching her face to make sure he was doing it right.

Eventually, satisfied he had settled into a good rhythm, he starts looking at the rest of her body. It looked amazing, and he wanted to feel and explore every bit of it. He reaches out and lays his hand on her breast. She smiles at this. He smiles in turn. He feels the give of her flesh, and rubs his thumb over the hardened tip of her nipple. Then he moves his hand lower, tracing his fingers down her abdomen. His fingers leave trails through the sweat collecting on her stomach from their exertions. Then he lowers his hand down to her hip, and starts lightly trailing his hand back up her body.

Suddenly, Roxy is giggling. John looks at her with confusion for a moment, wondering what had brought that on. Then he looks down to where his hand had been trailing over her side. Experimentally, he lightly passes his hand over the same spot again. Roxy laughs again when he does this. She was ticklish! He grins at his new-found discovery.  
"Hey. It's hard enough to catch my breath as it is you know." Roxy says.  
"Sorry. You just have a really nice laugh."  
"Well aren't you just the sweetest."

Not long after this little exchange, John tickles Roxy again, getting a few peals of laughter out of her. He couldn't help himself. It was so nice hearing her laugh. Roxy didn't seem to mind too much. But he made sure not to abuse the privilege, not wishing to irk her. Her giggling occasionally broke up the equally appealing sounds of her heavy breathing and pleasured moans, as John continued to push in and out of her in long strokes. They continued like this until Roxy said she was getting close. She tells him to pick up the pace, and he does so. At first he continues to pull almost all the way out for each thrust. But she grabs his ass and pulls his hips down.  
"Keep hitting there. Faster."  
He starts pulling out only a little bit with each thrust. Just enough to keep bumping against the same spot with some force each push back inward. Her legs are wrapped around his waist, and her arms are around his neck. She's breathing quickly and shallowly.  
"Yes. Yes. Oh fuck fuck fuck yes. Ah. Ah! AHHHHH!" She cries out. He feels her clenching around him, pulling him closer with her limbs. He keeps thrusting, feeling himself get close as well. He clenches his jaw, trying to hold himself back and build up his climax for as long as possible. He starts puling out more for each thrust, leaving only the tip in with each outward swing of his hips. He hilts himself inside her clutching pussy over and over again, feeling his orgasm racing to reach him. Just as he feels the first spurt of his cum start coming he pulls out of her and starts furiously masturbating, using Roxy's juices as lubricant. He lets his sperm fly out to land on her abdomen. Spurt after spurt of cum shoots out to pool on her stomach as she pants, still exhausted. He continues to tug on his dick until the spasms of his orgasm has subsides to a slight dribble.

Spent, he lies down on his back next to Roxy. He looks at her, as she looks up at the ceiling, a look of contentedness gracing her features.  
"Well that was fun." She says after a minute, turning her head to look at him.  
"That was amazing." He says.  
"Yeah. I'm a pretty great lay. You're good too. Nice stamina."  
"Thanks."  
"You made a bit of a mess didn't you?" She comments, looking down at the semen still covering her stomach.  
"I can take care of that." He says. 

He returns to his previous position between her legs, and looks toward's her face. She seems a bit confused. She probably expected him to grab a rag or something to wipe her off. He enjoyed the opertunity to prove her assumption wrong. He leans down towards her abdomen, and trails his tongue up along her stomach. He relished the sight of her eyes widening in surprise, and the perverse looks of satisfaction that quickly replaced it. He scoops the cum up into his mouth and swallows, savoring the taste. He continues to lap up his semen from her stomach, making sure he did a thorough job. Licking and sucking up every last drop. He saves the belly button for last, where it had pooled into a nice thick little puddle. He sucks it out, and licks up the remains.  
"There. All clean."  
"Wow. I cant believe you just did that. Must have tasted terrible."  
"Well it never exactly tastes GOOD. But you learn to get used to it. And it helps that I eat a lot of fruit."

"You know. You're not like other pirates. In bed specifically." She says, standing up. She strolls over to the window.  
"How so?" He asks, as she opens up the window, letting in cool night air.  
"Pirates are rough, and take what they please. But you're the opposite. You're eager to please, and do what you're asked. It's a nice change of pace. It's hard to find good lovers in this port." As she talks, she heads over to where he had dropped his pants earlier, picking them up.  
"Glad you enjoyed yourself" He says, watching Roxy return to the window with some confusion.  
"I wouldn't mind seeing you again next time you're in port, if you'd like."  
"Uh... what are you doing?" John asks.  
"But for now, you've got something important to do."

And then she throws his pants out the window. John jumps out of bed, looking on with horror and confusion.  
"What?! Why?!"

"Better hurry! The wind caught them, and they're getting away." Roxy says with a laugh. John runs to the window and looks outside into the night. His trousers were indeed caught in the wind, dancing away through the air. He looks up and sees the edge of the roof. He scrambles up onto the ledge and runs after his run away pants through the chilly night air. He was naked and had only just finished catching his breath after his vigorous romp with Roxy, and was now forced to chase his pants across the rooftops in the cold. He ran as fast as he could over the roofs, his time up in the masts of the ship helping him to ignore that he was one misstep away from a rather nasty fall. He scrambles up ledges and leaps over the narrow alley ways in his frantic race to catch his trouser. He wishes this wind would die down so he would get an opportunity to catch up with them.

As if on cue, the wind stops. The good news was, his pants had stopped flying away. The bad news was, they were now hooked on the teeth of a gargoyle high up on some church spire. He sighs, and starts climbing up to reach them. It was a tough climb but he soon enough on the edge of the gargoyle. He stoops down to reach out for his pants.

"John? Is that you?" He hears someone call out from below. He turns to look around, and looses his balance. He reaches out just as he's falling, and manages to grab hold of the statue. He's now holding on to the edge of the statue, his legs dangling into empty air.  
"Oh no! Are you OK." The voice calls out again. It sounded like Rose.  
"Yeah! Yeah I'm fine. Just... not sure if I can pull myself up here." John says, trying to, but finding his strength fail him.  
"What are you doing up there? Why are you naked? Why are your pants in that statue's teeth?" She asks.  
"I don't know what happened. I had sex with this local tavern owner. And when we were done she threw my pants out the window!"  
"Oh. You slept with Roxy. Now it makes sense." Rose says.  
"It does?" John asks.  
"Yeah. She likes to do this when she fucks someone. Thinks it's funny." Rose says.  
"How is this funny?" John asks.  
"John. You are buff naked, chasing after a run away pair of trousers. Tell me that isn't funny."  
"Well... I guess I can see how this might be amusing from an outsider's perspective."  
"HEY!" A new voice calls out. "What are you doing up there!? Why are you desecrating the church?"

John cranes his neck to get a look at the newcomer. It looked like a priest of some sort.  
"Uh. I swear. This is just a misunderstanding. Rose, tell him." John says.  
"Are you talking to me? I don't know who you are. And my name is Janet." Rose says, innocently.  
"Rose what the hell?" John asks.  
"I just don't understand what sort of man would do this father." Rose says, mortified.  
"I'm going to get the guards!" The priest calls out.

John hears retreating footsteps.  
"Well that's just perfect. Rose help me out."  
"I can't really get up there. I'm not that good a climber, and am not dressed for it."  
"Do SOMETHING. You owe me for what you just did."  
"I'll go get Nepeta."

Then Rose's footsteps retreat, and he is left dangling from the statue.  
What a night.

After what feels like an eternity, he hears the sound of approaching footsteps. His spirits lift, thinking that Rose and Nepeta had returned. His hopes were dashed by the sound of the priest's voice.  
"There he is! Arrest him!"  
"Hey! Get down from there right now." One of the guards says.  
"I can't!" John replies.  
"Oh for the love of. Someone go up there and get him."  
Well this was a fine mess.  
"Hey! Who's that?" He hears one of the guard's ask.  
"Come on John. We don't have all night."

John looks up. Nepeta had appeared, as if from nowhere. She reaches down to offer him a hand. He grabs it and Nepeta helps yank him back on top of the statue. She also swoops down to grab his pants.  
"OK, let's go." She says.  
"Can't I put my pants on first?" John asks.  
"No time!" She says.  
There is a loud crack, and John feels pain rake across his leg. He looks down. One of the guards had fired a rifle. It had hit the gargoyle, sending splinters of rock flying, and cutting into his leg.  
"Right. Lets go!"

John runs after Nepeta, desperately trying to keep up with her graceful path down and around the spire, out of the range of gunfire. It gets easier when they return to the roofs, and soon enough they are running from one roof to the next, making a path for the docks. At one point they descend to the streets, and begin sprinting through a maze of alley ways. They finally stop when they run into Rose, who had been waiting for them a few blocks away from the docks. Good thing too. John could barely get enough air into his lungs after all that running. He doubles over, hands on his knees.

"Trouble along the way?" She asks.  
"A bit. Guards showed up. But we lost them way back." Nepeta says.  
"We did? *Pant* Then why *Pant* Did we keep running *Pant* for so long?" John asks through labored breaths.  
"Running? That was barely a jog. You need to do more cardio."  
"Whatever." John says, standing up straight. "At least that's over with."  
He notices Rose giggling into her hand and tilts his head in confusion.  
"Having a shrinkage problem John?" She asks, pointing to between his legs, still naked and exposed to the cold night air. He scowls, less than amused.  
"Give me that." John says, yanking his pants out of Nepeta's hands. She too had started giggling.

"Well, at least you learned a valuable lesson from all this John. Never sleep with Roxy." Rose says.  
"Yeah... lesson learned." John says.

But he was remembering the evening. The conversations. The laughter. They way their bodies moved together.

'I wouldn't mind seeing you again next time you're in port, if you'd like.'

He wonders if he might take her up on that offer. Trousers tossed to the breeze or not.


End file.
